#132: Why Are You So Cranky?

Why was Saul in 1 Samuel so cranky; so mad, irritable, and explosive? He was not always this way. In fact, before the beginning of his reign as king, he was timid and shy. He even hid from the people out of fear when it was time for him to be anointed king. But later during his reign, something changed. He became violent and explosive. The Bible records an incident when he was listening to quiet and melodic harp music and then broke into a rage; throwing a javelin at the harpist in an attempt to impale the musician (who was, in fact, David) to the wall. 

What could have caused this irritability and change in personality? I believe it was because he could not admit his fault and honestly apologize for his wrongful actions. There was a point in Saul’s reign when a great Philistine army was gathered against Saul and his men. His people were terrified. Saul knew that before he could go into battle, prayer and an offering needed to be made before the Lord. Instead of waiting for Samuel, the priest, to come and perform a proper offering, he decided to do it himself. When Samuel arrived, he was appalled at what he saw Saul doing.

When Samuel questioned Saul about why he did not wait, Saul justified his actions, deflected the blame (in fact he blamed Samuel for not coming on time), and did not accept fault for his decision. He could not admit fault, and he couldn’t say, “I am sorry.” 

Saul was informed by Samuel that the Lord was no longer going to build His kingdom upon Saul’s throne. This could have caused some distress and humiliation, but I believe that the cause of Saul’s irritation went deeper than humiliation. Could it be that Saul’s deep distress was because of an unwillingness to accept fault and thus he had to carry the weight of an unrepentant attitude?

God is always ready to forgive, but you have to bring yourself to a point where you are ready to receive that forgiveness. If you will not admit fault, there is no place for forgiveness to rest. You carry the burden of continually having to deflect blame, and miss experiencing the joy and relief of being forgiven. 

The Bible records another instance when Saul deflected fault again. In 1 Samuel 15, Saul and his men had been given a specific command to destroy the Amalekites. They were to spare nothing and take nothing. However, after the battle, Saul and his people kept the Amalekite king alive and kept the sheep, oxen, and lambs.  

Samuel confronted Saul about his disobedience to the Lord’s command.

1 Samuel 15:14 And Samuel said, What meaneth then this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and the lowing of the oxen which I hear?

At this point, Saul had the opportunity to admit fault and seek forgiveness, but being true to his character, he still could not fully accept the blame. 

1 Samuel 15:24 And Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned: for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD, and thy words: because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice. 

He found it easy to say, “I have sinned,” but it carried no meaning because he deflected the blame on the people and on the pressure they put on him. He blamed the people and not himself. This was potentially the root cause of his irritability and explosive nature. He never experienced the transforming power of receiving forgiveness because he could not fully own his fault. Since he deflected the blame, he also deflected the peace of forgiveness. 

If the heart won’t recognize the offense, there is no place for it to receive the peace of forgiveness. The same is true for you.

God’s love and forgiveness travel along the same lines. If you refuse to accept fault for your actions, there is no place for you to receive forgiveness and thus you miss experiencing His love for you. Carrying the weight of continually deflecting blame can make for a very irritable, and restless disposition. This person could potentially wonder why God does not love them like He loves everyone else. By his failure to admit fault, he could be choosing to feel separated and rejected by God.

Proverbs 12:1 Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish.

O brutish, and mad Christian, do you hate reproof? Do you despise being corrected so you find it easy to blame your actions on the behavior of others? If you do, then you will not experience the joy and peace of forgiveness. If the blame does not belong to you, then forgiveness does not either.

If you tend to deflect blame like Saul, consider the perspective of those you are blaming. The fault was yours, but in deflecting the blame you are falsely accusing someone else. You are lying against them.

Psalm 109:2 For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue.

Make sure you are not doing this to other people. Realize that God knows who did wrong and is freely offering forgiveness to that individual if they will seek it. If you deflect blame to others, they have no power to apologize for your sin and they cannot accept forgiveness for you. 

Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 

God is always with you. Nothing can separate Him from you. But a decision to deflect blame, can deafen your ears to Him and desensitize you to His love. When you are faced with a situation that did not go as planned, or someone was hurt because of something you said, see the value in simply saying, “I am sorry. I did wrong. Will you forgive me.” No blame, no “I’m sorry, but…”, no excuses. When you carry the blame and then seek forgiveness, this weight is quickly lifted and replaced with the peace of forgiveness. You will fully experience God’s amazing love for you.

Related Bible Passages:

1 Sam 15, 16
Psalms 109
Proverbs 12
Romans 8

Have a face to face conversation with your Lord:

Lord, do I deflect blame when I am accused of doing wrong?

Lord, when was there a time when I fully accepted fault for something I did without deflecting blame?

Lord, do I despise being corrected? What is my response when I am corrected?

Lord, I want to fully accept fault for the things that I do. Help me to own my actions so I can own your forgiveness.

If you are interested in having a collection of these devotional conversations with your Lord, consider purchasing the devotional book, Conversations: Face to Face with Your Lord Book 1 or Conversations: Face to Face with Your Lord Book 2. Book 3 is coming soon! They are available from Amazon by clicking on the titles above.