“Sometimes I just need to vent!” How many of us have felt the need to vent and complain about someone or a situation that exists in the world outside of the walls of our home?
Proverbs 17:14 The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water: therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with.
No effort is needed to complain and cause strife. It is as easy as pouring water from a glass! Unfortunately, it is very easy to be critical and complain. Finding something to strive over is not hard. However, the Lord showed me that “venting” is just a cover-up to conceal the fact that I am really just exercising a critical spirit and making it stronger. When I vent, I am striving against the topic of my vent, even though they may not be in front of me. In the verse above, the Lord is directing me to “leave off” this behavior. I don’t need to make my critical spirit stronger through venting to others. The practice of venting provides me with a selfish need for validation, reinforces my unfortunate behavior, and strengthens my ability to be critical. Venting is not just “letting off some steam”… it is striving.
Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.
I have sat on the other side of the table from someone that was “venting.” I have felt the strife that it causes. It is actually very difficult because they are usually complaining about someone I care about. When I hear their words, I want to be compassionate but I also want to defend the one they are talking about. I feel conflicted. The venter does not want to hear how they are being critical, they just want to be heard and receive validation. When they walk away, they feel better, however I am left with carrying the weight of a strained relationship between two people I care about. As I reflected on this, I do not want to cause this in the life of someone else.
So, should I just stop venting? Strangely the answer is “No.” The answer is deeper than that. I should stop striving and control my critical spirit. If I can control by critical spirit, then I will have no need to vent.
The Lord showed me with the following verse:
Numbers 23:12 And he answered and said, Must I not take heed to speak that which the LORD hath put in my mouth?
When I consider my vents, I have to ask if the Lord gave me those words to speak? Did the Lord put those words in my mouth for the purpose of growing my critical spirit? Did the Lord put those words in my mouth to burden my listener? The answer is “No.” The words that I use to vent are not from the Lord, but from the need to feed a selfish motive to validate a critical spirit.
After this conversation with the Lord, I am now much more sensitive to my need to vent. I see the how a critical attitude is hiding behind this activity. I want to starve my critical spirit by no longer feeding it with validation and I want to fill my words to be the one that the Lord put in my mouth.
John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you…
Have a face to face conversation with your Lord!
Related Bible Passages
Numbers 23-24
Psalms 69:1-15
Proverbs 17
John 14-15
If you are interested in having a collection of these devotional conversations with your Lord, consider purchasing the devotional book, Conversations: Face to Face with Your Lord Book 1 or Conversations: Face to Face with Your Lord Book 2. They are available from Amazon by clicking on the titles above.
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